And, in other news, David Duchovny admitted to entering a treatment facility for sex addiction.

I’m more than a little creeped out right now.

*bimbles off*

Oh, and the pope is pissed off. Over a crucified frog sculpture. Created by a dead German guy.

The week just got even better.

*bimbles off*

So, I’ve spent the week watching snippets of the convention – or, pardon me, the talking heads speaking OVER the speakers at the convention – and finishing the last bit of wrangling to get my final paycheck so I can be over and done with my old job.

And, I got eggs to make brownies. It’s been a pretty good week.

More to come.

*bimbles off*

I can’t make brownies because I don’t have an egg.

GODDAMNIT!

*bimbles off to cry*

It’s been a good day when you can quit your shitty contract job via e-mail.

*bimbles off*

*bimbles off*

If NBC is going to air the VISA commercial featuring the runner who fell and his father helped him across the finish line, in which Morgan Freeman quietly narrates “…. he and his father finished last. But, he and his father *long pause* finished,” then they should be required to give us plenty of warning. It is not fucking fair to spring that kinda thing on a person cold.

I mean, the cats were crying, for god’s sake.

*bimbles off*

This always happens. I’m not going to get all involved in the Olympics, I’ll just read the results, thank you very much, and skip American corporations trying to provide the happy side of a tyrannical government hosting a world event. Then, SOMEONE in my house flips on the TV and says “Hey, did you know they made synchronized men’s diving an Olympic event?” and, BOOM, I’m up five hours later trying to figure out how to buy a ticket to China so I can shoot Tim Daggett in the face for his never-ending, mindless prattle during the men’s gymnastics competition. You think I’m joking. The man called one of the Chinese gymnasts “silly strong.” On national television. Seriously.

I realize the benefits of having a former athlete providing insightful comments on a particular sport. Someone has to be able to explain to the great, unwashed masses just how much that one step out of bounds can cost you. On the other hand, a former athlete does not a great commentator make. Ever since John Madden and his six-legged chicken stampeded into our living rooms, anyone who once may have tried out in pole vaulting gets a mic and a helpless, captive audience. I love my boy Troy Aikman, but anyone who uses the phrase “milking down the clock” should not be speaking in front of an audience. Ever.

During last night’s festivities, we were treated to insightful bon mots like “Oh, they just go to the showers for a little fun and relaxation” during the men’s sychronized diving, further adding to the odd, uncomfortable feeling of watching 14-year-old boys in teeny-tiny underwear stand on a platform together and say “Ready? Set? GO!” Or, the endless prattle about how the two female volleyball players met and married their husbands and, just shoot me in the head now, the Wedding Ring Malfunction of the previous night. We were left to create imaginary backgrounds for the Cuban team, whom the United States team was playing, because no one ever said a peep about them. Or, Rowdy Gaines trying to set the world’s record for the use of the words “dominant” and “world’s best athlete” when describing Michael Phelps. Does no one at the NBC Studios own a thesarus?

But, the end of my tolerance, the final nerve, the big ol’ final straw was Tim Daggett and the freakin’ blabfest that screamed away during the men’s gymnastics competition. If you paid VERY close attention (Read: hit the mute button), you would notice our little rag-tag team of rookies, including two alternates, slowly clawing their way to an impossible bronze medal. Really, it was quite an impressive performance, if you could get past the “he’s just making silly mistakes.” (Silly was the Word of the Day, apparently.)

While we were screaming and hollering at Justin Spring nailing – FUCKING NAILING, I tell you – a high bar routine, our Johnny on the spot was talking about how the Japanese team was seen laughing and videotaping each other on the sidelines. “I just really don’t approve of that type of behavior,” Mister “Silly Strong” intoned. “OUR team would have never have done that.” Yes, Tim, we know that 24 YEARS ago you were pretty hot shit. And, 24 YEARS ago, your team won the gold medal. And, 24 YEARS ago, we might have been interested.

I never thought someone would annoy me worse than Dick Buttons calling ice skating. But, then the earth shook, the sky darkened, wolves howled and someone gave Tim Daggett a mic. May the gods have mercy on our souls.

*bimbles off*

“I wish American television would stop using Tiananmen Square as a set. This is a freaking grave. This is a place where a really bad thing happened. We would not tolerate French television coming to New York and using Ground Zero as a backdrop for talking about how happy and merry New Yorkers are. The corporations that own and sponsor the US coverage of the Olympics have to tap dance around the Chinese human rights record, but my lord, let’s not use this place as a backdrop. People died there.” ~~ Sports analyst Charlie Pierce on NPR’s Only a Game. (via Daily Kos)

Amen.

*bimbles off*

You dumb motherfucker.

(CNN) — Former U.S. senator and Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards admitted to an extramarital affair in an interview with ABC News, the network reported Friday. He denied being the father of the woman’s child, as had been alleged in tabloid
reports.

His having an affair is between he and his wife. And, at least he wasn’t part of the wingnuttia’s family values brigade, preaching how we should all live by christian values while quietly banging the pool boy. What makes my head hurt is how, HOW, in this day and age, did he possibly expect to keep this quiet? I mean, has he been living under a rock for, oh say, the past 20 years? Bill Clinton ring any bells? When this was whispered about in October, Edwards denied it. DENIED. He denied in July. Apparently, he’s been denying since 2006, when he said he told his wife and family members.

So. He then campaigns to become the Democratic candidate for president. I don’t know how anyone can be that stupid. If he had become nominee and this came out before the election, the explosion would have wiped the party off the map for years. We had to lose the presidential office to Shrub and let him and his cronies systematically destroy our economy, our health care system, our privacy and our reputation for the past seven years before we could be taken seriously. He really wanted to gamble all that on a campaign aide keeping her mouth shut?

I don’t expect a president to be perfect. I just expect him or her to be smarter than this.

*bimbles off*