Received from my Dad, who got it via my Mom:

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Wal-Mart Greeter says “Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?”

The mean-acting woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “Hell no, they ain’t. The oldest one’s 9 and the other one’s 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?”

“I’m neither blind nor stupid”, replied the greeter. “I just couldn’t believe someone had sex with you twice. Have a great day.

My family, ladies and gentlemen. Dysfunctional yet maintaining our low sense of humor.

*bimbles off*

Is this disturbing to anyone besides me?

Minister: Death to My Tax Status Critics
(AP) A California minister who used church stationery and an Internet radio program to endorse former Gov. Mike Huckabee for president is asking his followers to pray for the deaths of those who filed a complaint against him with the IRS.

The Rev. Wiley S. Drake of the First Southern Baptist Church of Buena Park, Calif., called for “imprecatory prayer” targeting Barry W. Lynn, Joe Conn and Jeremy Leaming of Americans United for Separation of Church and State.

…

He gave as examples of imprecatory prayer:

“Persecute them. … Let them be put to shame and perish.”

“Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow.”

“Let his children be continually vagabonds, and beg.”

Smacks of something… can’t quite put my finger on it… religion… retaliation… erm… oh, yeah, a FUCKING JIHAD! That’s it.

Oh, wait… he’s white. And, a Christian. It’s okay, then. My bad. Terribly sorry. Carry on.

*bimbles off*

Coby: You’re seriously messing with my chi.

For more cat-bloggy goodness, visit the Friday Ark today and the Carnival of the Cats on Sunday.

*bimbles off*

In an odd turn on the ol’ meme, North Dallas Thirty hit me on his “Thinking Blogger” list. Hard to believe, eh? So, in the great memes tradition, here’s my list:

Ornicus (political – the moonbat edition)
If you’re looking for knee-jerk political reaction, don’t stop at David’s blog. Every issue is researched and thoroughly detailed. It’s a bit like the British Lit class I took in college taught by an actual Brit….. you KNOW when someone knows their shit.

Pandagon (feminism – the bat to the face edition)
No issue is left unscorched – from women who obey The Rules to the (in)equality of marriages to women’s rights under fire, it’s all here. And, Amanda gets extra kudos for having been run off John Edwards’ political campaign for daring to question the Catholic Church. That’s my girl.

Felyne (general – the international edition)
From diets to Moleskins to decisions about apartments to adjusting to American life…. everyday life, but our Felyne manages to make it sound so interesting. And, no one has ever worn purple hair so well.

Army of Mom (general – the wingnut edition)
My dear friend for nearly 16 years, she and I share many things in common, including owning white-trash cowboy hats, a love for liquor and gay cowboy movies and unhealthy addictions to Johnny Depp. Where we don’t agree, we disagree. And, when we disagree, we still love each other. The end.

North Dallas Thirty (political – the wingnut edition)
I read his blog. I understand what he is saying. I nod my head. I then go lie down with a damp rag over my head until the feeling passes.

Bark, Bark, Woof, Woof (general – the Mustang edition)
In addition to his insightful comments on mostly political events, BBWW has shared the good and bad in his life with a sense of humor and smarts. His “Small Town Boys” series is a must read on The Practical Press. He’s also a Shaker and loves Mustangs.

Rook’s Rant (general – the angry edition)
He was born on the same day as me. He hates stupid shit and lets me hit him with a hammer. I heart Rook.

Now, go forth and multiple those memes.

*bimbles off*

Big shocker here:

Rumsfield: No cover-up in Tillman’s death

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said Wednesday there was no evidence of a cover-up of the circumstances of Army Ranger Cpl. Pat Tillman’s death.

“I know that I would not engage in a cover-up. I know that no one in the White House suggested such a thing to me,” Rumsfeld testified before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, which is examining what senior Defense Department officials knew about Tillman’s death and when they knew it.

Rummy is the master of not answering a question and answering it at the same time. I wish he had been in charge of MY defense when I was growing up.

“You see, she (a young Lab Kat) knows she wouldn’t lie about being late. And, no one in her group has any knowledge of this. No one has suggested that a lie occurred, hence, it did not.”

I mean, really, what were we expecting – a member of the current administration to admit to lying? Lying is

such a basic reaction with them, it’s probably taught in “Working for the Bush Administration 101″:

• First rule – Lie like a dog.
  
• Second rule – Feign ignorance of said lie or cover up.
  
• Third Rule: Blame someone else. The media, bereaved parents and vague third parties make good targets.
  
• Fourth rule: Claim the Constitution does not apply to you. It’s more than 200 years old, for god’s sake.
• Finally, if all else fails, claim you are above the law and only answer to God. (Note of clarification: If you are the president, use this in reference to the religious interpretation of god. If you are anyone else, this refers to Bush the Annointed.)

One day, a politician or army general or the head of some federal organization is going to stand up and say “Yeah, I lied. I made the whole damned thing up to make myself and this administration look better, ’cause god knows we’re in the shitter right now. We took the memory of this honorable soldier and not only twisted it but spun the damned thing so much, I felt like I was on a Tilt-A-Whirl while writing the news releases. We have done a disservice to this person’s memory and to their family. The responsibility is mine. I will face the consequences and refuse to blame anyone but myself.”

And, then lighting will split the sky and the Seventh Seal will be opened.

*bimbles off*