Man, you turn you back for a minute and this shit happens. I got tagged by PSoTD. Bastard!

Eight True Things About Myself (in no particular order or importance)

1. I can play the violin.
2. I had no hair from the time I was born until I nearly a year old.
3. I’m a gamer… like, fer serious. ZOMG.
4. I started college as a pre-law major. (I’ll pause until the laughter settles down.)
5. I hate cheesecake. Any form of it.
6. I have a goal to visit Germany and Ireland before I die. Ancestry and all.
7. I once won a pair of handcuffs for having the best toga at a Halloween party.
8. The following Halloween, I won best costume dressed as Courtney Love. I don’t remember the prize. I was too drunk.

Discuss.

*bimbles off*

Toward the end of church service, the minister asked the congregation: “How many of you have forgiven your enemies?”

All held up their hands except on elderly lady.

“Mrs. Jones?” asked the minister. “Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”

“I don’t have any,” she replied.

“Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual,” said the minister. “How old are you?”

“Ninety-eight,” she replied.

“Oh, Mrs. Jones, would you please come down front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?” asked the minister.

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation and replied: “I outlived the bitches.”

(My appreciation to Army of Mom for sending this to me.)

*bimbles off*

I’ve decided all these job interviews I’ve been on serve a purpose: not to get a job, but as life’s way of keeping my eyebrows neat.

*bimbles off*