This time tomorrow I will be sharing a Jack and Coke with my Dad in Anchorage, my ass sore from eight hours on a plane. A week of clean air, fabo seafood, sightseeing and my sister’s tendency to overdress.

It’s going to kick ass.

Behave. As if.

*bimbles off*

Well, this just make it ALL better, doesn’t it?

AP, 5/25/06:

…. In unusually introspective comments, Bush said he regrets his cowboy rhetoric the wake of the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks such as his “wanted dead or alive” description of Osama bin Laden and his taunting “bring ’em on” challenge to Iraqi insurgents.

“In certain parts of the world, it was misinterpreted.”

He also cited the mistreatment of Iraqi prisoners at the U.S.-run Abu Ghraib prison near Baghdad. “We’ve been paying for that for a long time,” Bush said.

Wow. I mean, really. First, Shrub has the gall to think apologizing for inappropriate language is going to turn the tide of public opinion around and, hey, we’ll all realize this holy war we declared in Iraq is just peachy keen.

Second, the DC media lapdogs refer to this as “unusually introspective.” Frankly, I think introspective should go far deeper than “Whoa, did I say the wrong there or what?!?!” However, I guess you do have to take into account the shallow gene pool involved here.

Finally, “misinterpreted”???? What the fuck? How do you misinterpret shit like “bring ‘em on”, “Wanted: dead or alive” and, my person favorite, “You are either with us or against us”. Not much grey area there, oh fearless Rambo leader. You wanted to be a goddamned cowboy and now that bull is trying to buck you off? Too bad. You gotta stay on for that full eight seconds.

This all reminds me of that screaming moment of hilarity when Mike Tyson chirped “I’m sawreee” after lunching on Holyfield’s ear. ‘Course, hundreds of thousands didn’t die in that little episode.

*bimbles off*

Sweet BAY-bee Jesus…. I gotta see this movie before we leave.

*falls over*

Pica and Pixel keep a bead on the foul interloper.

For more cat-bloggy goodness, visit the Friday Ark today and the Carnival of the Cats on Sunday.

*bimbles off*

*dances around in joy*

HOUSTON (CNNMoney.com) – Enron former chief executive Jeffrey Skilling and founder Kenneth Lay were found guilty Thursday of conspiracy and fraud in the granddaddy of all corporate fraud cases.

Someone prepare the firing squad. Better yet, I’ll volunteer.

*bimbles off*

I don’t know what’s more tiresome: Madonna still pulling her “use the cross to piss of the catholics” routine or the catholic church still getting pissy about it.

This was old 20 years ago, kids.

*bimbles off*

Sadly, we lost one of our best today.

Former Sen. Lloyd Bentsen Dies
Lloyd Bentsen, who represented the state of Texas in Congress for 28 years and served as President Clinton’s first treasury secretary, died Tuesday morning at his home in Houston, his family said. He was 85.

Bentsen had been under a doctor’s care since a stroke several years ago, according to longtime aide Bill Maddox.

*bimbles off*

Perhaps I’m in the minority here, but it seriously bothers me that the concept of “perversion” is slapped on any and everyone who is… shall we say… sexually different. And, by different, I mean anything outside of the missionary position with your opposite sex spouse with the lights out, only once a week.

I was watching an old episode of “Law and Order: SVU” a few nights ago and it started with the death of a popular, dedicated teacher who worked with inner-city kids. As the plot unwound, it was revealed this teacher had a “dark side.” She was a “sex addict” who frequented online sex forums and went to swingers and alternative sexual clubs. By the end of the show, I was ready to pen a letter to the writers, stating that, while I normally enjoy their show to pieces, this particular episode was full of so many myths and biases, it could have been produced by Focus on the Family.

First, this woman’s urges were explained away in a nice, tidy manner as “sexual addiction.” One of the characters she had sex with even said “It’s like being possessed.” So, if you want sex more than once a day and have an appetite for multiple partners, it’s a disease? While I’m sure there are people who truly suffer from sexual addiction, not every person whose tendencies fall outside the “normal” have an affliction.

Second, the attitude toward alternative sex clubs was intolerant, at best. The first, a swinger’s club, was shown as having half-naked people walking around in the lobby. And, when one of the owners was explaining to Det. Benson that the club had rules, she rolled her eyes and said “You people have rules?” Quite frankly, most places like this do. It’s a matter of business, not morals. And, the second club – a more hardcore club – was called “Dante’s Inferno.” Wow. Get the symbolism there. Why didn’t they just call it “Sinners Who are Headed to Hell on the Express Elevator.”

The final insult was the implication that the teacher died because of this evil impulse she had. Because she dared step out of our society’s narrow walls surrounding sex, she had to be punished. She had to die. She was called a “slut” and “whore” during the show, while the men who engaged in this behavior were given a pass.

During a scene in the squadroom, a heated discussion went on about sexual behavior. Only one character voiced the question “How can this be a crime? It’s consenting adults engaging in intimate behavior in private.” He was asked if he supported the “perverts.” And, there you go…. anyone whose sexual preferences do not fit inside a neat, tidy box are perverted or worse. If you don’t lie up perfectly with the established normals – based mainly on christian theology in this country – then you are a deviant and/or a criminal. Nevermind if the behavior is between consenting adults or that it affects no one except those involved.

Want to know why European countries have fewer instances of rape? Because they aren’t choking on the same inflexible restraints we put on sexuality in our country. We make sex wrong unless it’s within certain parameters. Look, don’t touch. Think, but don’t act. Wonder, but don’t try. No wonder we obsess over sex in our society. Experimentation is practically forbidden and those who do are labeled.

If your idea of what normal sex is consists of a couple of thrusts every week in the blackness of your bedroom with your wife, fine. You are entitled to your sexual preferences. Now, let the rest of the population be entitled to theirs.

*bimbles off*

Wow. I sit stunned.

5/22/06 – A federal judge struck down a 2-year-old law that prohibits Oklahoma from recognizing adoptions by same-sex couples from other states and countries.

U.S. District Judge Robin Cauthron ruled Friday the measure violated due process rights under the U.S. Constitution because it attempted to break up families without considering the parents’ fitness or the children’s best interests.

It just takes your breath away when someone show a bit of spine and common sense, doesn’t it? Of course, the repug representative for that state labeled Judge Cauthron an “activist judge.” Of course. Because it’s not about a child being a home where he or she is loved, wanted and supported. Nosiree. It’s about the keeping them immoral homos and dykes from getting their grubby paws on THE CHILDREN!!! Homosexual agenda, dontcha’ know.

By the way, if anyone has a copy of this agenda, I’d love to see it. It wasn’t passed out at any of the meetings I attended.

*bimbles off*

Alas, those poor, poor christians.

Fort Worth Star Telegram, 5/22/06 – A Keller school district parent said political correctness has run amok at her daughter’s elementary school, where the principal chose to omit the words “In God We Trust” from an oversize coin depicted on the yearbook cover.

Janet Travis, principal of Liberty Elementary School in Colleyville, wanted to avoid offending students of different religions, a district spokesman said. Students were given stickers with the words that could be affixed to the book if they so chose.

Debi Ackerman of North Richland Hills said she is offended by the omission. It’s yet another example of a politically correct culture that is removing Christian references from all public places, she said.

My dear, if your faith isn’t strong enough to survive a yearbook cover, perhaps the problem does not lie with the school district.

*bimbles off*